We have intercepted a lot of communications coming from your accounts on Twitter, Facebook and Google that have lead us to believe you hold certain extremist views. We don’t like your views. They’re terrible views.
So, we’re gonna punish you. We hereby convict you of believing the wrong truth and condemn you henceforth to a life in prison.
You will be incarcerated on a formerly blue planet with an ecosystem that is on the verge of collapse. Climate change, declining biodiversity and social unrest will ensure that you die of violence, hunger or cancer within the coming decade. Your human rights will be indefinitely suspended and you may be tortured at my personal discretion.
There is, and will be, no possibility of appeal. Any attempt at organizing a protest I call a prison riot and it shall be crushed with the full force of the United States Army so help me God.
Donald Trump, the only Legislative, Executive and Judicial Power of the United States of America
“I did it my way”