The Next World War

This rant sprouts from the documentary film “Supermarket Secrets“, a strong piece of investigative journalism concerning the UK food retail industry that came out a few years ago. I watched it with disbelief and tears in my eyes, disgust, then anger. This poor little apple that is not perfectly symmetrical like the snobby faces of its sick consumers and the supermarketeers who rationalize their system by pointing at the “demand” of these consumers. This one misshapen apple, thrown to the pigs or left to rot while a billion people are starving, should enrage billions. And once they are enraged they might start to see that it is not only this apple. It’s everything. The entire food production and the entire non-food production. Wasteful, environmentally disastrous, unsustainable, disgustingly “efficient”. The whole system should be taken down. Not “dismantled” but blown up, carpet bombed, nuked into oblivion.

Two misshapen apples, courtesy of
This is a somewhat emotional reaction.
What would that world war look like? Let’s try and imagine. One fine day one of us consumers is indeed so appalled by the sight of an apple like this that in his mind, a tipping-point is reached. He declares war (let’s assume it is a male consumer as they tend to be more easily enraged and have more aggression in their toolbox of conflict resolution). This apple, he feels, is reason enough for all-out war. No more questions, no more considerations. He reproduces the photograph of the little apple and distributes it to millions of people, who are all equally in dismay and desire to strike. The picture of the apple is forbidden by governments around the world but it’s too late. Wikileaks and similar public services step in and it spreads like a wildfire. Soon, a billion people are mobilized and awaiting the command of our initial outraged consumer. And the command comes. Supermarket windows are smashed. Massive strikes, complete disruption of air traffic, power plants, mines, factories, dams, roads, trains, stores, military bases quickly ensues. The world economy grinds to a complete halt. The apple people have won, the system is down.
The initial outraged consumer, let’s call him Adam, walks the scorched earth and sighs at the sight of the destruction. He doesn’t feel as certain about the apple war as before. Was it the right thing to do? He feels a little bit guilty. Or had he been seduced by some dark force that had used the apple to spark his rage? He is confused and goes to the site where the supermarket once stood, the place where he had seen the misshapen apple being thrown away. Ironically, the name sign was among the few items not devoured by the fire and the looting. “Paradise Whole Foods Ltd.” it read. Adam sits down next to it and…and…and…and let the poor feller just sit there dammit.

Commercial Break

It’s time for a short commercial break. Get comfortable in your chair and watch the wonderful products. Don’t believe the communist propaganda that commercials are made to seduce people into buying stuff they don’t need. Commercials are essential to life and without them even the most basic human functioning would be unthinkable, we would all live and die in caves, deprived of our basic human needs and desire. Without television commercials we would no longer experience desire, and become apathetic, defenseless against the threat of communism. Without radio advertisements we would stop to recognize our ability to be political beings. And without billboards and print media ads we would lose our sense of self. We have made it a number one priority to defend the right to make this society more livable which as per the above findings means turn this entire country into a canvas for commercials.
Just Do It: Commercials
I are organizing a contest to create the most powerful commercial for commercials. Can you come up with a catchy slogan? Here are some suggestions to get you started: “Commercials – I’m Loving It.”; “Just Do It: Commercials.”; “Beyond Commerce: Commercials”.
Of course I hear you say “but if commercials are so essential then why do they need to be promoted?”
The fatal flaw of that question is that it assumes the basic sanity of present day human beings. Does the present day person have this sanity? Look around you. What do you see? People often blindly follow their biological urges, their unreflected appetite or unmediated sexual cravings. Some of them transport themselves in vehicles that are older than two years – or don’t even roar. What do you think that would do to their self-confidence? Other people, who were clearly inspired by the absence of commercials, have been seen switching off life-supporting devices like light bulbs, space heaters, yes even air-conditioners. Others even, as one of our shocked reporters observed, walk – which is essentially the way animals move. And they call it “healthy”. They’d walk straight into the abyss of communism and not even notice it. Still others drink water from the tap, maybe even slurping it like dogs do – do you think they would ever be able to build any sense of family values? Or did you know there are citizens who sleep without pills (the health risks of which have been clearly indicated in a wide range of different commercials and infotainment videos)? 
Worse still, and I’m not making this up: there are humans (genetically shown to be indeed identical with homo sapiens sapiens) who still breath without a mask. Their insanity is complete, they are apathetic sociopaths stumbling down the tedious slope of their senseless lives, void of desire and humaneness, and endangering our brave new world of capitalism.

Ducks on Dawkins

Our Reflection is sometimes quite astonishing.

I got carried away a bit by a series of “related videos” about Richard Dawkins and his quest to extirpate religion. His eloquence is mighty and delightful, and I do agree with most of his arguments. Of course science offers a far better explanation of natural phenomenons, and its supremacy in predicting the future is self-evident. With experiments that must be essentially replicable in the lab, and the continuous effort to identify and eradicate every bias, science is the best thing since sliced bread.

Religion, apart from standing in the way of the progress of science, has caused a lot of suffering by offering a rationale for righteousness, martyrdom, infanticide, genocide, and so on. Is all religion delusional?

I am a duck. I understand Dawkins and his crusade very well, and I feel for him. See, we have this quack in our mallard community that keeps preaching about our initial sin and how some broad-billed deity up there in the sky is controlling everything and that if only we believe in waddling Wotan everything is gonna be alright. That quack keeps talking about it so much that some of us have already migrated away. Anyway, if a duck dares to argue with him, that quack asks him if he knows what came first, the duck or the egg, and his critics normally are so abashed about the fact that they don’t know the answer that they back down.

I am a Bucephela clangula, a cool duck you know. I’m from the Arctic, mate. That quack is telling us the ice melt is God’s will and the punishment for our disbelief and unholy hollering. Rubbish. I’m a duck of science and I understand that much. Primitive humans are causing global warming. They have this tradition of feeling supreme, you know, so even mr. Dawkins thinks they can and should do away with religion fast, but that ain’t gonna work. They should kinda slowly phase it out, and after a few generations they’ll be just fine. Of course, there will always be some humans quacking about their discontent and projecting heavens and hells and purgatories. We have that here too. But you know, for some being delusional is better than facing the truth. The truth ain’t all too downy, if you know what I mean.