Morning Routine

I have the best morning routine. It’s an exceptional morning routine. It’s quick and new and ‘smart’. You do this morning routine, it will blow people out of the water. They’ll never see it coming! It’s the number one routine. The absolute best.

There is a healthy brain guru named Jim Kwik who is peddling his ‘amazing’ courses on the Internet for $399. I watched some of the man’s boastful videos, in which he explained the good old loci-method of memorization using healthy habits as an example. And it actualy worked. A week later, I still know what I had ‘put’ on my head, on my shoulders, in my ears, and so on. Great stuff.

And then there’s the a-ma-zing morning routine. Here it is in my own, compact, words:

  1. Remember your dreams (they can be really creative)
  2. Make your bed (organizing, getting-things-done mindset)
  3. Drink a glass of water (hydrate your brain)
  4. Exercise (when your body moves, your brain …)
  5. Take a cold shower (immune system boost)
  6. Brush your teeth with the opposite hand
  7. Drink energy tea
  8. Drink a smoothie
  9. Journal
  10. * Don’t use your smartphone the first hour of the day.

Why do I remember this list? Such awesome, mysterious memory magic! It is just great! Amazing! Wow, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to try this myself. Yes and, Steve, don’t forget that if you call now you get a $29 discount! Really? Oh, that’s fantastic. I already loved it. I guess you can say that I’m hooked. Hooked! It is absolute great and you know what’s the best part? I have learned the wisdom of self-irony.

Full disclosure: Jim Kwik pays me $999 for sharing this with you. Just kidding.

Morning Routine was originally published on Meandering home


Reading: White Comedy by Benjamin Zephaniah

Benjamin Zephaniah (b. 1958) is a British-Jamaican poet who has considerable influence in contemporary poetry. He was born in Birmingham to a Barbadian father and Jamaican mother. As a child, he developed dyslexia and was imprisoned for burglary. He is also the author of novels for teenagers and a notable animal rights activist. He refused an Order of the British Empire from the queen, because it reminded him of “how my foremothers were raped and my forefathers brutalised.”
I read these simple lines that remind us of the connotations of the word ‘black’ in a powerful way that would make us smile if it wasn’t – still – such a serious issue.

White Comedy
I waz whitemailed
By a white witch,
Wid white magic
An white lies,
Branded by a white sheep
I slaved as a whitesmith
Near a white spot
Where I suffered whitewater fever.
Whitelisted as a whiteleg
I waz in de white book
As a master of white art,
It waz like white death.

People called me white jack
Some hailed me as a white wog,
So I joined de white watch
Trained as a white guard
Lived off the white economy.
Caught and beaten by de whiteshirts
I waz condemned to a white mass,
Don’t worry,
I shall be writing to de Black House.

It’s a trivial idea (read it again replacing all instances of ‘white’ with ‘black’) but worth our while. In our culture of ephemeral twitter pleasure we need such mantras that remind us of the power of a single word, of the intricate web of connotations that very subtly influence the very building blocks of our reasoning.

Some of the white things he mentions do have a meaning, like whitewater or whitelisting, while others are simply the inversion of black metaphoric language: whitemailing, white magic, white economy, white death, whitesmith.

Such building on the public’s imagination is one of the strongest cards we can play against racism; stronger than the codification of righteous outrage in a language sanctioned by the ‘critical’ masses that fatally avoid self-criticism.

I was reminded of this beautifully maudlin* movie scene:

* kitschy, mawkish, gooey, schmaltzy, bathetic, hokey.

Reading: White Comedy by Benjamin Zephaniah was originally published on Meandering home

I fell in love three times

A few months ago, in a period of soul-searching that can happen to the best of us, I fell in love three times. I try to be a faithful poetic observer and report to you how exactly that happened.

My first amorous encounter was with Cuban superstar Camilla Cabelo, chiefly because of her aphrodisiacal voice and amber Beauty. I just love the looks of her cheekbones and although I don’t find much artistic substance in her musical endeavors, I still considered her my girlfriend for the tender period of two days.

It was only when my love of music awoke from an uncontrolled hibernation that I decided to leave her for Yuja Wang, the phenomenally brilliant, funny and sexy Chinese pianist. I could listen to her piano concerts and encores on YouTube for hours on end. I have been her boyfriend for three whole days.

Why did we break up? Was I getting bored? Was I eventually overtaken by fate, that had reserved an inexplicable love for the entirely and radically different, the diametrically opposed Principle? However this may be, such were the uneasy beginnings of my relationship with Ri Chun Hee, the famed North Korean news lady. You may think I’m a insufferable romantic dreamer with my seemingly self-destructive appetite for her, but I beg to differ.

If we allow the inexplicable in our lives, if we grant it more than a supporting role, only then are we truly living.

I fell in love three times was originally published on Meandering home

Most obscure poet

I google “most obscure poet”
and I find poets whose obscurity
has become a brand

A certain mr. Puce from a town
named Truth and Consequences
was engaged in wordplay

A lady wrote three poems a day
by the time when she was eighty
the boxes had reached the ceiling

Meanwhile, a child knows obscurity
is out of reach. It is not a name
and will never be. Therefore, it is the one

thing that we can become forever;
Obscurity doesn’t inflate like fame
every artist should try for it, better late
than never

Most obscure poet was originally published on Meandering home