the echo that defines the abyss

I wake up at one thirty
then I forget to eat and and fight myself
the evenings are prettiest: I drink
and watch hero movies in which heroes
follow a direction

the echo that defines the abyss was originally published on Meandering home

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do you know a name? (parental guidance advised)

every Monday i wake up with with a pain that i am not allowed to call pain
some subconsciousness has conspired to destroy whatever vital ambition

i hate this fucking show but i am not allowed to turn it off

week by week my life is rotting away
i have lost all interest and inspiration but i still get it up

so neither am i allowed to call it a depression
do you know a name?

do you know a name? (parental guidance advised) was originally published on Meandering home

Ceci n’est pas un poème déprimé

The hatred of my hatred vindicates me:
I am still a consciousness
in and of the world, death foreshadowing
in all of its tissues

My body tortures itself
I must watch, I watch
pain is no measure as my spirit is gone
this is not suffering: I am an automaton

I don’t want to wait
while life flees from me
like a scared rodent flees
from bigger rodents

Ceci n’est pas un poème déprimé was originally published on Meandering home